May 31, 2013

Operation Red Bikini...


Today I'm going to be very, very candid. I've never disclosed my starting weight before and never posted any 'before' pictures - and definitely no bikini pictures! - but today I am. I'm so proud of how far I've come that I don't want to feel ashamed anymore of where I was. I will never be that girl again.

Operation Red Bikini came along when I needed it most. When I got back from my friends wedding in Mexico in December I knew I needed to make a lifestyle change. I couldn't even look at pictures of myself without wanting to cry. Body image has always been an issue for me and I hit my breaking point.

The wedding was the week before Christmas. I weighed myself a few days after Christmas (and all the food and drinks that go along with the holidays) and saw the highest number I have ever seen: 193 lbs. 

I was disgusted. I couldn't believe I let myself get to that point. I was mad at myself for not trying to get in shape for my cousin's wedding, or for my trips to NYC and Mexico. Some of the best times of my life and I wanted to burn every picture and un-tag myself in every  single photo on FB.

Getting back into blogging was the best decision I ever made. Without blogging I wouldn't have found Kassie or Leigh Ann and I wouldn't have participated in Operation Red Bikini.  I am so, so, soooo glad that I found Mama Laughlin's blog on Pinterest, which led to finding other awesome blogs and becoming a daily  stalker reader, which then made me want to start up a blog of my own again. I honestly can't even put into words how much the blogging community has helped me on my journey. From comments on my blog posts and IG, to posts from others that inspired me -  I never realized how much support and words of encouragement could mean from strangers. I've received more support from 'strangers' in the blogging world than the people I'm closest to IRL. So from the bottom of my heart, Thank YOU!

Two of my ORB goals were to wear a bikini this Summer and to get a tattoo on my thigh that I could show off in said bikini. Though I may not be quite ready to wear that bikini to the pool or on the boat yet, I am posting the picture here today. I've NEVER worn a bikini in public in my entire life. Even as a child, who had no weight problems back then, I wore one pieces. I bought my first ever bikini specifically for my ORB goals. And I WILL wear it this Summer. 

The tattoo? Goal achieved as of Monday May 27th. And I'm ready to put on some short shorts and show it off! :)

Today I weigh 169.5 lbs. 23.5 lbs GONE since I stepped on that scale in December and decided to make a lifestyle change. Though this last month with switching jobs has been crazy and I have been stressed to the max I have still managed to continue losing, even though I haven't been at the top of my game. I will get back to the top of my game and I will accomplish my goals this Summer. And just because Operation Red Bikini is over doesn't mean I will stop IG'ing and blogging about my progress. So stay tuned...

Huge thanks to Kassie and Leigh Anne for hosting the Operation Red Bikini challenge. You ladies rock!

Now for the pictures....

Taigz wedding in Mexico. One of the pictures that had the power to make me cry. 
Taken in January. Right after making lifestyle changes for the better. Before, I would've cropped from my chest down out of the picture

Not a diet, but a lifestyle change. 
Of course I had to IG gym pictures. It's a blogging right of passage...

I started C25K... and then quit because it was too slow of a pace for me. I'll be starting it again tomorrow, June 1st to get ready for The Colour Run in 6ish weeks!

What used to be a regular staple in my diet now only makes very, very rare appearances
Mid April 2013. About a year ago I had put that dress in a pile of clothes to sell because I hated the way it looked on me.   While going through the pile of clothes to sell I decided to try it on and couldn't believe how much better it fit. I wore it to my friends wedding in April and didn't feel the slightest bit uncomfortable with myself in it!

May 2013
When I was bigger I tended to choose clothes that made me blend in, not stand out. Not anymore! I'm so excited to try out different trends and to be able to shop for clothes that I actually LOVE

I can't believe I'm doing this.... Not even my mom or sister have seen me in this state of 'undress' in yeeeeeaars. Here goes nothing:

Am I completely 100% satisfied with this? No. But I've learned to take the small victories as they come.  I can only go up from here! And compared to the bathing suit photo below, I am so happy with where I am
Mexico December 2013
I'm on the left, looking about 5 months pregnant. No bueno! 

I've been wanting this tattoo for a long, long time. But I was not comfortable with my legs at all so I kept putting it off. Until I realized ORB was almost over and it was one of my goals.On Monday I made it happen. And I can't wait to show it off this Summer


This was me at my Cousins wedding in August 2012 where I was a bridesmaid


And this is me 'wearing' the dress this morning. The dress is so loose that it won't stay up at all. It catches on my hips and stays up just below my chest but I could completely pull the dress off without having to undo the zipper. Non scale victory right there!


This was me this morning, feeling very happy with what I've accomplished in just 5 months. I can't wait to see what else I can do!


7 comments:

  1. amazing job!!!! you look like a whole new woman!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed! Way to go!!! You look amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Way to go! You are completely right about it being a lifestyle change and not just a diet. I bet you felt awesome trying on that old bridesmaid dress and it just falling off of you! Those non-scale victories mean so much more than a number. Keep it up! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm a new reader here, but wanted to say that you look fantastic! I love that striped maxi-dress in one of the last pics, you look great! :) Good for you for sticking with your plan even during tough times and continuing to lose - you're doing awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You look amazing!! Awesome job - you should feel so proud of yourself!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. OH MY GOODNESS!!! Your story brought tears to my eyes lady. So many women struggle with these same feelings. Props to you for taking control! I think you have always looked beautiful but now it's shining from within as well. You look phenomenal. Congratulations on the swim pic! You are ROCKING IT!!!! Thanks for participating and linking up! THis story needed to be told! Happy Tuesday gorgeous girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just checking in because I realized I hadn't heard from you in a bit--guess I missed this post. You look great! Your hard work has paid off and I'm so happy for you!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the love! If you have a specific question please feel free to email me at krmathison@ hotmail.com